Disciple of INDYCAR Weblog

April 29, 2013

Almost Here: The Month of May and the 2013 Indianapolis 500!

Filed under: The Disciple Blogs — Disciple of INDYCAR @ 2:20 pm

Gordon KirbyNow that the month of May is nearly upon us the zombie-like, cart-crapper contingent is in full blown sport destruction mode as they always are around this time every year. It is a real shame they just refuse to grow up. Oh well. Every large family has a drunken black sheep uncle or two, a harlot female that sleeps with anyone, a few mixed race bastards and one or two with an extra chromosome. It is our job to love them for who they are because they are all family.

Occasionally, however, it is refreshing when some of the more elderly curmudgeons simply begin to die off. Pruning dead branches off the family tree is never bad. One such dementia victim is former big time writer and now cranky internet pundit Gordon Kirby. He has been actively engaged in a month-long wet dream fantasy about Formula 1’s favorite midget Bernie Eccelstone buying the Long Beach Grand Prix and returning it to F-1. When he first reported this mostly fantasized rumor the current owners, former cart stalwarts Kalkhoven and Forsythe, laughed it off while denying it’s for sale, said something about not for sale unless someone talks ‘stupid money’ and went on about their business. Even the guy in charge of the event, Jim Michaelian, actually got pissed off about the rumor.

Kirby, however, revels in that kind of dung disturbing. Never mind that Indy Car ratings for original airings outdraw F-1 original airings and all replays too. Never mind that the expense of bringing Long Beach up to the minimum standards of F-1 today causes head scratching. Depending on the straw man he wants to build up to knock over Long Beach is either the second most important event on the IndyCar calendar or is tepid without attendance or ratings.

As an attendee this year the crowd looked good and was definitely enthusiastic so perhaps blithering idiots who still refuse to budge from 1995 should stop standing in the way of natural evolution.

Hello Young LadySince May is nearly upon us and the thoughts of everyone who is an actual fan turns to Indy, one bit of great news is that ESPN on ABC is replacing the nearly fossilized Brent Musberger with Lindsay Czarniak. Nothing against Brent, but if the sport is trying to attract millennials ‘you are looking live’ uttered by a 70-year-old man is not going to cut it, regardless of the great things he has accomplished in the past. Czarniak is easy on the eyes, not a puker like some other female racing anchors, and is definitely a fresh face. I personally became enamored of her in the mid-2000s when she worked for channel 4 in Washington. She was solid in the sports desk, listened, and asked really good questions in interviews. She has some racing experience too. She did a lot of freelance and TNT stuff for NASCAR.  What does matter is that Marty Reid still anchors and Scott Goodyear, more effective than Ambien at curing insomnia, still provides color (even if only in a few shades of gray). At least Eddie Cheever will be alongside for ALL the races on ABC this season. He brings an intelligence that is sorely needed.

Here’s hoping the jet stream cooperates this year and that all eight track activity days are rain-free. See you there.

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24 Comments »

  1. “a few mixed race bastards,” Jesus Christ dude, seriously? You’re going to attack people for marrying interracially and having children? You even compared these people to the drunken uncle cliche and the harlot. I would say this is pretty uncalled for. Maybe you should consider editing this and apologizing for it.
    Editor’s Note: Attack? LOL. The entire point sailed right over your head. The only thing I’d even remotely consider apologizing for might be lumping the aforementioned bastards in with cart enthusiasts still stuck in 1995.

    Comment by Michael Miles — April 29, 2013 @ 7:37 pm | Reply

    • sad comments, you lumped mixed race children in with familial black sheep. I guess you can’t see beyond your central Indiana-ness enough to know that is incredibly offensive.
      Editor’s Note: Look, before you go getting all offended about words why not at least attempt to understand context and/or stick to the actual topic? Are you not guilty of stereotyping by referring to my ‘central Indiana-ness?’ What is that? I don’t even live there most of the year.

      Comment by Michael Miles — April 29, 2013 @ 9:36 pm | Reply

      • If you can’t see how your comments are racist, I feel pity for you. I’m going to work on making sure you never get media credentialed…Oh well…good luck.
        Editor’s Note: I will slow this waaaayyyyyy down for your benefit, even though you have allowed your knees to jerk you clear away from the actual topic, which has obviously eluded you. Ready? Stop me if I go too fast. In the context of my blog I lamented that because it is May there are enthusiasts of a twice dead racing series who feel compelled every May to attempt to destroy the sport, even for real racing fans. These are people that make other people uncomfortable. When I stated “Every large family has a drunken black sheep uncle or two, a harlot female that sleeps with anyone, a few mixed race bastards (this happens when someone sleeps with someone else of a different ethnicity out of wedlock and becomes pregnant) and one or two with an extra chromosome” it was not to poke fun at anyone EXCEPT the aforementioned cart enthusiasts. In your frothing angst you may well have missed: “It is our job to love them for who they are because they are all family.” That seems pretty distant from racist to me. Do me a favor. Stop worrying about words you don’t understand and keep your commentary confined to the topic. We will all be better off. Too late on the whole credential thing, by the way.

        Comment by Michael Miles — April 29, 2013 @ 10:38 pm

  2. Have you read Curt Cavin’s blog today? He talked to an Indycar team executive about the ratings. He said it is impossible to make the ratings sound good with a straight face. Does he know the key metrics like you do? Is he wrong?
    Editor’s Note: Why not at least attempt to stick to the actual topic? No, most people on IndyCar teams do not know how ratings actually work in the real world. Then again I do not know much about running an IndyCar team and do not pretend I do.

    Comment by Willy Pheistergache — April 29, 2013 @ 8:27 pm | Reply

  3. “Too late on the whole credential thing, by the way.” Let us know if you have any issues after the few phone calls I placed this afternoon… Enjoy yourself. I’m out.
    Editor’s Note: Still no contribution that is on topic or any sort of recognition about my explanation, huh? Typical chickenshit behavior from your kind. Don’t like or understand a few words….make a few phone calls. What did you say….’ooohhhhh don’t give Disciple of INDYCAR any credentials because he’s a racist?’ LOL. Grow up. And please, for the love of god, try to stay on topic and stop wasting our time.

    Comment by Michael Miles — April 30, 2013 @ 12:40 am | Reply

    • i can just picture some bleating smacksdead dot com idiot calling the ims office whining like a damn second grader about something posted on the internet. tff. the irony is how ims issues media credentials to a large number who really don’t deserve them.
      Editor’s Note: And if he is that upset about my words he had best steer clear of the movie Django Unchained, which I saw last evening. Otherwise Quentin Tarantino will not be getting credentialed either. LOL. Meddlesome little old ladies have a special place in hell.

      Comment by a. stump — April 30, 2013 @ 9:24 am | Reply

  4. (snip)Another illiterate missive by a youthful miscreant that included A) a slam of people from Indiana, B) a comparison of Tony George to Adolf Hitler, C) a comparison of the creation of the IRL to the holocaust, D) making fun of Al Unser, Jr., and A.J. Foyt, E) using the ‘American’ theme as a slam, F) various uses of profanity for no apparent reason, G) homophobic slurs and H) 25/8 slamming. Again. But oddly, not one word that was actually on topic.(snip)
    Editor’s Note: As a result, it won’t see the light of day. If these kids want to contribute like adults we can interact. If not, they go to the trash pile. Simple.

    Comment by RacerX — April 30, 2013 @ 12:04 pm | Reply

  5. You ignorant dumbass; according to you every family should have one. Is Lindsay Czarniak beneath your superiorness because she is inter-racially married and would her children be “bastards” as you proclaim it? You are no friend of Indy racing with that holier than thou attitude. You are a racist bigoted idiot, and you know it.
    Editor’s Note: Hmmm. Yet another meddling child without any discernible ability to comprehend things they attempt to read or stay on topic. But awfully good at name calling. Look, the fact that Czarniak may be inter-racially married makes no difference to me. It’s none of my business. If I were ever in a position to actually become amorous with her I would be more concerned with chest size than anything else. But since that has as much a chance of happening as disenfranchised cart fans have of growing synapses that fire I won’t worry about it. Perhaps you should confine commentary to the actual topic and not some knee-jerk reaction to snippets that honk you off for no apparent reason.

    Comment by Goron Liddy — April 30, 2013 @ 12:10 pm | Reply

  6. So much for freedom of speech, eh defender? The politically correct police are after you.

    Hoping for a dry and WARM month of May.

    Comment by Bob F. — April 30, 2013 @ 4:28 pm | Reply

  7. May 1st, and Nascar Sprint Cup cars are driving around IMS. At least they have a big league series running at IMS in May again!
    Editor’s Note: Yeah….it’s easy to tell by the hundreds of thousands their summer race attracts. LOL

    Comment by TroyM — May 1, 2013 @ 1:42 pm | Reply

  8. Their fans are smart, they prefer to go to other venues where the cars a racier, they can see much more of the track from most grandstand seats, and the other venues aren’t dilapidated, rusting facilities like the place at 16th and Georgetown. I live in the Indianapolis area and plan to attend Nascar races at Kentucky and perhaps Joliet. I will only attend Indy if I can score some free tickets, like I did last year.
    Editor’s Note: Very happy for you. The blog topic, however, is about Indy Cars in May. Have fun at your events. My focus this month is Indy Cars on their home track.

    Comment by TroyM — May 1, 2013 @ 2:36 pm | Reply

  9. Dear Defender:

    Thanks for the kind words for us and other true Indy Car fans who know that TG ruined the sport back in 1996 when he launched the IRL and set back American Open Wheel Racing back decades while allowing NASCAR to become the most popular and widely recognized form of motor sport in our country…you can continue to compare us to half breeds, harlots and drunken uncles but no amount of hate will change the fact that TG’s arrogance, hubris and complete and utter lack of business acumen or leadership has relegated Indy Car to the fringes of the American sports landscape…thanks, TG, we all appreciate the dismal TV ratings, the lack of sponsorship, and resources and technological prowess and invisible media presence that your failed leadership and vision has left us in the wake of 25/8….we won’t forget you…by hey, we can hang out during the 500 in the paddock penthouse if you can’t get credentialed this May due to your insane rant…see you on May 26 at about 8:00 AM for an eye opener (shot and a beer)…
    Editor’s Note: The reason I’m harsh on the Tony haters is because to me they are dumber and more worthless than a bag of navel lint. Anton has not really been in charge for years and yet IndyCar keeps chugging along with well over a million attendees every year, good OTA ratings and normal cable ratings. The object of the affection of the aforementioned haters killed itself off twice. So, begging your pardon, the ability of the haters to judge the business acumen of anyone else is highly suspect and usually laughable. And nearly 100% incorrect. I would dearly love to pop a shot and a beer during May, and thus far I’m still credentialed. I believe what we experienced was a lot of hot air. Which is typical here.

    Comment by Neil Rubin — May 1, 2013 @ 9:28 pm | Reply

    • Oh the phone call was made. The only issue was they were/are trying to connect your real name to the blog. However, after receiving follow up calls from Me. Sullivan at the office, he has yet been unable to, but assuredly told me that he was not at all impressed with your writing and would make sure he would handle this. Also, thanked me for bringing it to the attention of Terry. So, if you have the balls to identify yourself, I’ll make sure to pass it along. Hell, just a last name will really do. But I doubt you have the balls to back your big talk up.
      Editor’s Note: Why would anyone in their right mind even consider such a rat-like, tattletale, 2nd grade approach? You seem genuinely mentally unbalanced. That is in addition to your blatant inability to understand both context and most forms of the written word. In short, grow up. Here is what your little crusade has accomplished: Nothing. Congratulations. Real name? Sure. Welch. LOL.

      Comment by mike miles — May 2, 2013 @ 2:40 am | Reply

      • His name is (insert a name here). His wife weighs 500 lbs.
        Editor’s Note: Right on time. Crapper 2. Unable to stick to the topic. LOL

        Comment by Willy Pheistergache — May 2, 2013 @ 3:07 pm

    • Having lived through the split, I am always amazed at how Tony George gets the blame. I remember the whole period leading up to it and one name constantly came up. He wanted to downgrade Indy in the league. He wanted control. In 1995 he even built cars for the “long haul” even though they would not be competitive at Indy since he said it was only one race. Argued for the shortened month of May that he eventually got. It was as if he was deliberately degrading Indy and its traditions. All in the attempt to gain power, a struggle he was well involved in since at least 1979. That man’s name is Roger Penske.

      Comment by Bob F. — May 2, 2013 @ 1:54 pm | Reply

  10. Reality to Defender: What planet are you on and where have you been for the last twenty years? Indy Car went from the top draw across the land in terms of American motor sports which had a sitting F1 champion come to the series and which had Bernie so frightened that he took steps to prevent Indy Car from running on venues utilized by F1 to a running joke in the short span of 5 years….do you recall the laughter of the crowd, me included, who watched stand outs like Billy Boat, Buzz Caulkins and Eleseio Salazar blaze through the month of May in second hand equipment? If your beloved TG hadn’t dreamed up winning strategies such as 25/8 and bringing his hammer to work everyday (yes, every friggin’ day), the month of May would sill mean something in the racing world instead of representing faded glory of a sport that America used to care about, much like horse racing and professional boxing. What was once a race that captured the imagination of the world, with new innovations, daring drivers and new speedway records, we are left with the failed legacy of TG and the fools he installed in positions of leadership at Indy Car who have given us a dull spec series which has little or no relevance to the auto industry, populated by drivers who probably could not land a ride in any other series (even with the $$$ that most of the current field bring along with them) and a miniscule media presence which is dwarfed by NASCAR, F1 and about every other level of motorsports….if you are satisfied with the obvious, painful and irreversible decline of Indy Car both in the motorsports world and in the larger entertainment scene, then you are truly a believer in the Church of TG…see you at the of the month, perhaps we can debate these issues face to face with other fans on both sides of this NEVER ENDING DISPUTE….
    Editor’s Note: Neil, Neil, Neil…what am I going to do with you? To be honest I have enjoyed IndyCar in its many forms in person since 1959. I also recognize the entire planet has changed. Who’s to say the sport would not have been actually destroyed had the boycotters not boycotted? And in 2013, who really cares? I am looking forward to a debate anytime, and the first one’s on me.

    Comment by Neil Rubin — May 2, 2013 @ 1:45 pm | Reply

  11. Couple of things “defender.” 1) I gave you the chance to take race out of it. You chose not to. Go ahead and stay in the 1950’s society has clearly moved on without you. 2). I ignored your context because it has no bearing, your attempt to be derogatory towards CART sympathizers by using interracial children as an example shows you’re a bigoted 12 year old. 3) I don’t want IMS, INDYCAR, or my friends employed there to he associated with a chickenshit bigoted bunch of bullshit. 4) You’re a coward and I knew that even though you had mocked me as a nobody, you wouldn’t give your last name, because now you know that, you can’t just make ignorant comments like yours and face no consequences. Believe me, my friends at IMS are working to get your credentials. I’ll find your name, and make sure they get it, one way or another. You are an afraid child. After all the big talk, you not giving your name is proof.
    Editor’s Note: What’s next? Contacting my employer? LOL. There are a whole lot of nuts running around loose and I for damned sure don’t need a John Hinckley type stalking me. It’s really not my problem you are unable and unwilling to understand context. That is your own special deficiency. I’m not hard to find…I’ll be at IMS most every day they are open this month, as I am every year. If you think your ‘friends’ at IMS are wasting time on a frivolous little old lady-type complaint you’re even nuttier than your commentary makes you appear. Here’s my advice: You don’t like what you think you read and allowed yourself to be offended by. That’s fine. Address the topic. Make your point. Hit enter. Simple. No lectures, no threats, no kindergarten-level behavior. Behave as an adult would, and cultivate a sense of humor.

    Comment by mike miles — May 2, 2013 @ 1:54 pm | Reply

  12. As I promised (a name and occupation inserted here) kiss your credentials goodbye…
    Editor’s Note: Seek help. Another meddling nut is not what the world needs. Looking forward to my 49th 500. LOL

    Comment by mike miles — May 2, 2013 @ 2:40 pm | Reply

  13. (insert a name here) is your name. You went to (insert a school here), live in (insert a city here), and work as a (insert an occupation here)
    http://www.linkedin.com/in/(insert a name here)
    -The I just lost my media credentials Disciple
    Editor’s Note: Looks like it’s time to start quaking in my boots. I’ve evidently offended the delicate sensibilities of the crapper nation. All six of them. That’s for stopping by and being creepy John Hinckley.

    Comment by mike miles — May 2, 2013 @ 3:04 pm | Reply

  14. This is for Mr. Miles in his quest to get (insert a name here)’s credentials pulled. His name is (insert a name here). He is in love with Gomer since he uses that as his avatar and turd forum. He wants to be manhandled by him and Tony George.
    Editor’s Note: Crapper hypocrite 2.5. Still off topic, and predictably sliding toward the scatalogical.

    Comment by Willy Pheistergache — May 2, 2013 @ 3:09 pm | Reply

  15. Your name is (insert a name here). You Live in (insert a city here). You went to (insert a city here). You work for (insert a company here), and have African American subordinates of whom I have sent copies of your blog posts. You’re a small minded bigot. http://www.linkedin.com/in/(insert a name here) -The I just lost my media credentials Disciple
    Editor’s Note: Persistent little buggers.

    Comment by mike miles — May 2, 2013 @ 3:18 pm | Reply

  16. mike miles, please get help. idiot.

    Comment by a. stump — May 2, 2013 @ 11:21 pm | Reply

  17. I bet his name’s not even Mike Miles.

    Comment by spreadoption — May 7, 2013 @ 4:22 am | Reply

  18. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit
    my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over
    again. Regardless, just wanted to say great blog!

    Comment by twitter.com — July 18, 2013 @ 8:51 pm | Reply


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