Now that the month of May is nearly upon us the zombie-like, cart-crapper contingent is in full blown sport destruction mode as they always are around this time every year. It is a real shame they just refuse to grow up. Oh well. Every large family has a drunken black sheep uncle or two, a harlot female that sleeps with anyone, a few mixed race bastards and one or two with an extra chromosome. It is our job to love them for who they are because they are all family.
Occasionally, however, it is refreshing when some of the more elderly curmudgeons simply begin to die off. Pruning dead branches off the family tree is never bad. One such dementia victim is former big time writer and now cranky internet pundit Gordon Kirby. He has been actively engaged in a month-long wet dream fantasy about Formula 1’s favorite midget Bernie Eccelstone buying the Long Beach Grand Prix and returning it to F-1. When he first reported this mostly fantasized rumor the current owners, former cart stalwarts Kalkhoven and Forsythe, laughed it off while denying it’s for sale, said something about not for sale unless someone talks ‘stupid money’ and went on about their business. Even the guy in charge of the event, Jim Michaelian, actually got pissed off about the rumor.
Kirby, however, revels in that kind of dung disturbing. Never mind that Indy Car ratings for original airings outdraw F-1 original airings and all replays too. Never mind that the expense of bringing Long Beach up to the minimum standards of F-1 today causes head scratching. Depending on the straw man he wants to build up to knock over Long Beach is either the second most important event on the IndyCar calendar or is tepid without attendance or ratings.
As an attendee this year the crowd looked good and was definitely enthusiastic so perhaps blithering idiots who still refuse to budge from 1995 should stop standing in the way of natural evolution.