Disciple of INDYCAR Weblog

May 15, 2013

The Merry Month Of May In Indianapolis at the 500 and Related Pleasures

Filed under: The Disciple Blogs — Disciple of INDYCAR @ 8:48 pm

Yummy SammichOne of the most enjoyable traditions about the month of May in Indianapolis at the track is consumption of well-prepared pork tenderloin sandwiches.  I like it best when it is dipped twice in buttermilk and egg, and floured then panko’d, then cooked in actual fat in a cast iron skillet. Gastronomically it is about the worst thing one should eat, but when considering only taste buds and not health, once or twice a year is not going to kill anyone.

I like mine in the Hoosier traditional way. Plain white bun, lots of yellow mustard, some pickles and raw onions. The meat must be pounded flat like an elephant ear at a country fair, and there must be way too much for the bun.

It has been nearly a year since my taste buds were so titillated, but that ends tomorrow. In terms of the 500, the dreaded breaded pork tenderloin has become a tradition for many. Some people do not understand that sort of craving either, and it is not worth trying to explain to anyone who has not tried one.

Formula IdiotsSo far this month in and around the track has been mostly free of assholes, but not entirely. Eating tenderloins is always a great asshole repellant. Between 1996 and just a few years ago, there were lots of them. Fortunately many have either grown up, died off or have otherwise developed maturity. There remain a select few, however, whose lack of maturity defies logic. Some of the best racing fans I know have a general interest in the entire sport, and most of them like Formula 1 the best. Some of the best fans I meet every May love Formula 1….but also love Indy and the 500. Some of the worst excuses for fans I know also obsessively attach themselves to Indy and screech about how bad they think it is. These are obviously lying hypocrites.

That is why God made tenderloins. They make dealing with such non-race fans a whole lot easier and spending time with the real ones that much more pleasurable. So if you see a well girthed, aging man in funky shorts devouring a tenderloin, stop by and say hey.



  1. And now I’m starving.

    Comment by TonyD — May 15, 2013 @ 9:04 pm | Reply

  2. Said assholes are doing what they can to keep it popular. Thanks to them. I think I’ll have a tenderloin tomorrow out there myself.

    Comment by Ten Der Loin — May 15, 2013 @ 11:26 pm | Reply

  3. Dear Defender:

    All fun aside with your artery clogging lunch, what about Indy Car’s hire of Derrick Walker to run the competition side? I am hopeful that his experience and insight, if left alone by TG and the other Hulman-George interlopers, perhaps Derrick can lead the series in a new direction….TG and his family should focus on upgrading the IMS facility and maintaining the excellence that you claim has faded in recent years.

    Comment by Neil Rubin — May 15, 2013 @ 11:53 pm | Reply

    • Dear Defender:

      I have my flight and hotel booked for next weekend and I hope that the Pacers advance to the Eastern Conference Finals so that I can catch the race during the day next Sunday and then game 3 between the Pacers and the Heat in the evening….listen, I need your expertise in the track layout as I search for seats…last year, we hustled some good tix in the Paddock Penthouse but we were too far north from the start-finish line and too far down to benefit from the overhang (damn, it was hot last year)….tell me where the Paddock Penthouse sections start moving south to north and what section faces the start finish line…also, what is the last row closest to the top of each section? I thank you in advance for your insight and experience in answering these questions.
      Editor’s Note: My advice: Forget the Paddock Penthouse and try to score Penthouse in E, B or A in that order. You will still see the pits and the S/F line, won’t be obstructed, and from B and E can see into turn 2 as well as off 4. In general the higher the number the further south. We were exceedingly comfortable all day in E-Penthouse last year. Have fun!

      Comment by Neil Rubin — May 18, 2013 @ 5:10 pm | Reply

      • Dear Defender:

        Do you know where the numbering starts in relation to the Pagoda moving from south to north in the Paddock? How about the numbering in A or B? Also, how many rows does the second deck go up?
        Editor’s Note: Ooops….sorry I missed the comment. Hope your seats were stellar and you got there early!

        Comment by Neil Rubin — May 21, 2013 @ 5:53 pm

  4. hahaha

    Comment by L. James — May 17, 2013 @ 12:28 am | Reply

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