Disciple of INDYCAR Weblog

March 21, 2014

Obvious Impatience Waiting For The Start of the Verizon IndyCar Series Season

Filed under: The Disciple Blogs — Disciple of INDYCAR @ 12:30 pm

Presenting a few this n’ that meanderings as we attempt to wait patiently for St. Pete:

OutdatedWonder when IndyCar is going to update their merchandise site with Verizon branding? It has only been a week since the formal announcement. Perhaps we should cut them some slack. LOL.

On December 17 of last year I offered a blog entitled ‘IndyCar Ratings and The Latest Attempt To Make 12+ Seem Important’ in which I gave kudos to the efforts of a guy named Andrew Maness who ran a site then called ‘Nascarnomics.’ Andrew basically gathers a passel of Nielsen 12+ overnight audience estimates then combines those numbers with whatever else was happening that day; e.g., weather, competing events, etc., along with other semi-related metrics. From these values he creates analysis using the statistics to draw conclusions about various aspects of the sport. Last December he focused on IndyCar and offered andyobservations. The difference in the way he does it versus the way an average squatting troll does it is not the base data; 12+ overnight audience estimates remain merely a tool for the waving of genitals and have never sold a national spot in and of themselves. The difference is the elegant frame in which the same numbers are presented. That and Andrew is literate and can write intelligently.

The point of bringing this back up is that suddenly his website suddenly transformed from ‘Nascarnomics’ to ‘Racingnomics’ and all NASCAR-related content vanished. Evidently the good ol’ boys and their lawyers got wind of it and promptly, in a legal sense, castrated the young man. Legally there is probably no quarrel but it seems almost ridiculously petty, akin to killing a fly with a bazooka. GREAT entertainment.

High BeamsMark Miles continues allowing foxes to rule the hen house in IndyCar, and the foxes have evidently returned to the notion that if they attempt to recreate Formula 1 they will be more successful. That includes more road courses, a new light system for standing starts, fluid rules that can be changed whimsically, and now grid girls. We can lament the lack of original thought all day, but if they Bare Assedare going to continue down the copycat road and forsake originality for good at least grid girls are a great form of flattery. At the risk of being accused of misogyny my hope is that the ‘Indy Girls’ do not resemble livestock and possess a full mouth of straight teeth with no discernable under- or overbite. I recommend ample breasts preferably proportioned to a slightly higher degree than the remainder of their frames. Although they are being positioned as walking mannequins for the fashion efforts of local clothing designers it is my hope and that of hordes of most men that whatever they wear will be barely enough to conceal their privates. Before anyone takes umbrage remember that sex sells. Men have been leering over women since Eve first tongued the apple. It is natural for heterosexual men. If IndyCar wants to attract more of them, which is an obvious need, why not give them eye candy for ALL their senses? In the realm of copied ideas to help pretend you are something you are actually not, this one is perhaps the best.


1 Comment »

  1. Since this is Jim Nabors last year, maybe, starting next year, Miles will have the grid girls give a twerking demonstration, complete with large foam fingers, while Steven Tyler screeches Back Home Again in Indiana. That would be a bank shot that could kill several traditions at once.

    Comment by Chris Lukens — March 29, 2014 @ 12:40 am | Reply

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