Bubba The Love Sponge: Not A Danica Enthusiast

The Love Sponge

Native but former Hoosier Bubba The Love Sponge, a guy who worked a long time ago at WPFR in Terre Haute, Indiana long after my own brief period at that quaint little FM station, had his typically great and entertaining show on Sirius Tuesday afternoon. He winds people up with the very best of them. He is a huge racing enthusiast and participant as well, although his migration southward and long term love of NASCAR means ‘Bubba’ is a very accurate air name.

Is She Stuck to The Seat?

Today one of his targets was Danica Patrick, who wound up 6^th in her inaugural fendered event at Daytona and caused Speed TV’s ARCA ratings to go up by nearly 60%. Bouyed by this achievement, The Earnhardt folks are pushing her into a Grand National car next (surprise) to mix it up with a slightly more advanced group of competitors.

Bubba is of the opinion that Danica is in over her head and is basically a publicity stunt so that NASCAR can stem a rising tide of lower ratings, crowds and sponsorship. He expressed those feelings in far more colorful terms than I can manage. He also explained the undercurrent of similar feelings among many of the good ‘ol boys, including folks like Boogity who are not really allowed to step out of their script boxes on the blower when discussing the Go Daddy girl and her relative lack of knowledge about the intricacies of ‘stock’ car racing, where the driver is the onboard computer relaying data.

Boogity

My opinion is that marketing folks all over NASCAR land have been having wet dreams since this past weekend over potential millions that can be made. Her star power kept Indy Car afloat until cart owners finally took their heads out of their behinds and ended the Indy boycott, which gave the Robin Millers of the world something else to write about besides Danica and how much they hated Tony George. All NASCAR can see are cash register drawers opening and young fans pouring lots of loot into them.

Some Random Guy With a Mullet

If Danica does well in the Grand National event the genie will be all the way out of the bottle. She will kiss her ‘winning the Indy 500’ aspirations goodbye. I miss the days when Indy Car drivers really would treat ‘stock’ cars like a hobby and A.J. or Mario would go win Daytona then resume their Indy Car seasons. Danica is no A.J. or Mario, but she needs to stay in Indy Car for a couple of more seasons.

Daytona evidently needs all the help it can get this year. Tickets are plentiful and cheaper than they have been in years, and they started dropping hotel prices in that area as well. ISC’s previous Nazi-like prohibitions against things like coolers with beer in them are now lifted. Bubba had the president of the speedway on, and he is colorful as well.

If Danica stays, she will no doubt have a new car to drive. A big red cloak is set to be pulled off the Delta Wing concept car, a design favored by Indy Car owners. It has been called revolutionary, as opposed to merely evolutionary. As long as it allows good close racing and dicing on the track it is OK by me.

Indy Car Chassis War Breaks Out

All of a sudden, ‘chassis wars’ has broken out in IRL land. This silly season has been the best one in history. It has had bloodshed at the top, the usual musical chairs among teams and drivers, idiotic prognostications by cart-centric roaches that THIS year will be the final for Indy Car, and rumors of new teams.

The latest company to come out publicly with sketches of new car possibilities is Swift. Like Dallara they feature three evolutionary designs that may allow for fresh racing on the track. We may see Lola’s design(s) this week, and the debut of the much-ballyhooed Delta Wing concept gets unveiled Wednesday.

What does it all mean? That Indy Car is removing its head from its arse? That they need to take care of Dallara? That fans starving for more competition may actually get their wish? The one thing we should hope does NOT happen is some demand that one manufacturer becomes the exclusive supplier. Homogenized spec racing is not what Indy Car should be about. Most of the companies mentioned have other business interests and do not have to rely on Indy Car chassis construction alone. Active competition among, say, three of them would be great for fans and great for the series.

If cost efficiency can be managed, larger fields might also be more likely. That benefits everyone.

By the way, the most intensive press coverage ever of a driver in ARCA occurred prior to this past weekend, and I would be remiss if we went without a Danica mention. Her sixth place finish gave her enough self confidence to give the NASCAR B-team race a shot. Whether or not she does as well will no doubt inspire many to watch. The competition will be better. If she does well in the next race, her oft stated goal of winning the Indianapolis 500 may go the way of the goal Tony Stewart use to say he had.

It is kind of funny watching NASCAR use Danica as their next great hope. If you are a Jimmie Johnson or a Jeff Gordon or a Mark Martin how does it feel to be marginalized?

Indy Car Owners: Not The Brightest Bunch

Are the former cart/champcar renegades still really stupid enough to try and form another ‘breakaway’ series? Have they not learned their lessons or destroyed the sport enough with such self-serving actions in the past? There is a right way to positively affect evolution, and there is a wrong way which does infinitely more harm than good. So far it appears much of the ownership is headed down the same futile path that killed cart, champcar, and much of the sport.

After years of shrill whining like infants this group got Tony George (an object of ridicule and scorn for many) dumped from power. Now much of the same group is going after Brian Barnhart. Who’s next? Angstadt? Bernard? Fred? Please do not misunderstand. They may have a point. A common perception is that Indy Car has stagnated mostly due to Barnhart’s overly conservative stewardship. The cart contingent has always believed Tony Cotman would be a better fit. Perhaps he would, but he is also associated with some of the more idiotic champcar ideals involving ‘racing’ events that do not require proper tracks, particularly ovals. Brazil could still blow up in his face (and do some more damage to the sport in the process).

Why my angst? Someone sent me a link to a blog on SpeedTV’s web site by Marshall Pruett. I can summarize its main points in just a few bullets:

-Ben Bowlby’s Delta Wing concept, a mockup of which has only been seen by a handful, is the next DP-01-level amazing new car that will revolutionize Indy Car.

-Because ‘WE’ have this bold new car, ‘WE’ intend to call the shots and ‘YOU’ will simply listen and accept.

-Brian Barnhart is a plagiarizing buffoon who needs to be replaced by Tony Cotman.

-In an effort to save face Barnhart, in cahoots with Dallara, copy-cat’d the Delta Wing plan to come up with next generation Dallaras to steal their thunder.

-The IRL is evil. cart 1979-1995 is where the sport needs to go.

-If (he even has a cutesy name for him) Barnhart keeps it up, ‘he could find himself with an empty paddock in 2012 and no one to drive his new Dallara.’

That last item is a quote. Mr. Einstein used to opine: ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ The exact same type of brash arrogance killed cart and champcar primarily because the main owners rebelled against the management of the series; a group they believed was not up to the task of operating the sport. Their 1979 coup d’état succeeded brilliantly for a time but failed after the direction they took began de-emphasizing the Indianapolis 500 and its heritage. When they boycotted altogether instead of acting like rational adults their inexorable fate was sealed.

As a diehard fan for decades, here are my simple questions:

-I am sure the Delta Wing will be great when we see it on the 10^th. If it is great, we should adopt it as an acceptable chassis (after verifying it actually exists and passes rigorous testing).

-The Dallara prototypes we have seen are all potentially very attractive, cost-effective, and will be built in Indiana. Dallara has been an outstanding partner the entire life of the Indy Car Series, and because they build really good cars they deserve their incumbency.

-What is wrong with having two or more chassis manufacturers? Everyone is freaked out about cost effectiveness, but why not let the market decide? Lola and Swift are interested too.

-While we’re at it what is it going to take to get Honda some competition? Seems to me EVERYONE else is frightened by them.

-If you want to have Barnhart bounced, do it efficiently behind the scenes working with the powers that be. The same type of sneaky, cowardly whispering used on the sisters to motivate them to stab Anton in the back could just as easily be used for Barnhart. Instead of pulling stunts like knocking down historic old motels then being held accountable, you could focus on how Indy Car has become more homogenized than the milk winners of the 500 drink.

Above all I hope ownership malcontents decide not to take the chickensh!t approach again. You have a real opportunity to enhance the sport because the creativity of some really talented people is bursting at the seams and ready to explode. This same bunch, however, could just as easily destroy the sport solely based on the size of their collective ego.

Please do not screw this up. Your entire reason for being is centered on the Indianapolis 500. Accept it and embrace it, and above all figure out a way to work WITH the IRL folks as your peers, not as the enemy. It is time to grow up.

Separating Indianapolis Motor Speedway Fact From Sleazeball Fiction

The only thing more embarrassing to our great sport than the hijinks of youthful disenfranchised cart enthusiasts who refuse to budge from 1995 are niche NASCAR-centric, semi-literate buffoons with self esteem issues. As is the case with a handful of our favorite cart nutjobs, a small but vocal NASCAR-centric minority also disseminate their own brand of utter and complete stupidity on the Internet. You will need some background to understand my latest harebrained rant, and here it is. There is a contributor to the Indiana Business Journal named Norm Heikens, who is probably neither a youthful cart enthusiast stuck in 1995 nor a NASCAR-style redneck. But I could be wrong. His column is what started this whole mess.

In that column the other day Heikens concocted a doomsday scenario in which both Eli Lilly and the Indianapolis Motor Speedway cease to exist in the city of Indianapolis and what the impact of such a loss might be. Frankly, given the degree to which mergers and takeovers reshape the pharmaceutical industry every year, the loss of ‘ol uncle Eli is not beyond the realm of possibility. But IMS? No way. Even if the Hulman George family was collectively stupid enough to sell it the track is a part of the historic fabric of the state, the nation and the world. I am confident I will be long deceased before IMS ceases to exist as the biggest racing stage anywhere.

That column has been forum fodder, particularly on a couple of IRL hate sites, since it was written. In their usual show of hypocrisy, those who claim to hate all things Indy slither forth to pontificate anyway. I will quote one of the most extreme lunatics, if for no other reason that it is fun to point out thinking deficiency sometimes. Admittedly not mature, but mildly entertaining. That matters to me.

“Well, I doubt the track will go out of business, My guess is that either ISC or SMI will buy it, possibly at a rock bottom price, but I doubt it will close down. I would prefer ISC buy it, simply because it would be the fulfillment of Bill France Sr’s words from back in the early 50s, when a JERK named Hulman had him thrown off of the grounds of the track for asking if a NASCAR race could be run there. He said as he was being thrown off the grounds, “One day I will own this place!” His family would own it if that sceniro came to pass so that is enough vindication for me!  Like I said however, I doubt it will close down.”

What is a ‘sceniro?’ Let us more closely examine the events of May 14, 1954, shall we? But first we have to go to February 22, 1969. That is when the Daytona Beach Morning Journal ran a long, detailed piece about Big Bill France and his history. One paragraph even pointed out the strong friendship he and Tony Hulman shared. Mr. Hulman did not sound like much of a JERK there. Probably not potentially a RACIST, either. Although Bill France was also close buddies with George Wallace. But I digress.

So that is one misconception spun by an ignorant person. Here is another: While it was true Mr. France was given a bum’s rush, it was not out of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, it was out of the garage area of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Misconception 2A: Bill asking for a NASCAR date back in ’54, especially as the cause for the toss, has always been merely a twisted hilljack fantasy.

Third misconception: Tony Hulman did NOT order the Bill France toss. Harry McQuinn, the Brian Barnhart of his day, did. Why? Because France had fraudulently used a borrowed badge for entry to the garage area. That exact same trick will get you thrown out today and your badge will get revoked. It would have been a lot easier for Bill to ask Tony for credentials. Tony, his good friend, would have granted them immediately.

Fourth misconception: That he ever shouted one day he would ‘own the place.’ What he did confide privately to friends was that he would build a better 2.5 mile speedway than Indianapolis had. The high banked, poorly paved (at least now) Daytona track (the one with half the history, not to mention seats, of Indy) stands there in Daytona, and has become the NASCAR marquee.

Naturally drawn conclusion: The person who offered that hateful revisionist nonsense is not really very bright in terms of history. Further proof that intelligence is not one his strong points is this nugget:

“As to the falling popularity of it’s May race series, that has been slowly dying for years and young people haven’t been interested in years.”

Hmmm. The last time I attended and checked, attendance has risen at Indy over the past few years. Even in down years it remains, by a large margin, the largest attended single day sporting event in the world. I see people of all ages, and increasingly diverse races as well. Television ratings remain strong although they mirror the downward trend of ratings generally. The purse keeps rising.

‘Not very bright’ rapidly becomes ‘downright stupid’ when clueless commentary by hostile natives is fingered from certain rural southern areas in Georgia. He might not like hearing that NASCAR’s attendance at Indy and other venues has been plummeting recently.

“Arrogance of many of it’s fans toward every other form of racing and every other form of racing’s fans have played a HUGE part in this, as most people don’t want to be around or sit in the stands with a bunch of jerks like many of those people are. You don’t attract people by bashing or insulting them, the parts of the country that they come from or the things, such as their favorite forms of racing, that they like! Unfortunately, for them, they did that and they are paying the price for it BIG TIME! Now, go ahead and bash me you usual suspects, but I am laughing at you and your foolhearted bashing and insulting. You’re just pouring more gasoline on the fire that is consuming your form of racing. You’ve made your bed, now you have to lay in it!”

I wish he would be more specific about people who make his racing experiences less fulfilling. I have attended NASCAR races and have never once pointed and laughed at anyone. The person making these remarks also claims to have been a Marine. If that is the case could he not rapidly take care of ‘jerks?’ Would his skin not be thicker? No worries. He has proven he has no credibility when it comes to facts so why would his opinion be taken seriously by anyone except to point out facts in the interest of truth?

Randy Bernard’s One Person IRL Focus Group

Congratulations to the IZOD Indy Car Series on their official hiring of Randy Bernard as CEO, replacing Tony George. That alone should be enough to silence critics who have been howling for Anton scalp since the needless cart boycott of ‘95, but this is Indy car we’re talking about. Nothing short of their own deaths will likely silence incessant yelping.

I am officially on board with the whole outsider angle. No baggage that way. We already know the guy started a niche and made it viable. Let’s see what he can do with a bigger, established niche and make it huge again. When I talk to Mr. Bernard, I will have a few pieces of advice from someone who has walked through the gates in parts of seven decades. He says he would like to hear from folks like me, and I am more than happy to oblige.

1. Walk around the race track when it is dark and silent one morning at around sunrise. Open your mind to the possibility that 100 years of life and death history can touch you.
2. You wouldn’t let a cowboy try to stay atop a bull on a city street. You would insist that such an adventure take place in an enclosed, purpose-built facility where everyone in the stands could see everything that is going on. Why then would Indy Cars be allowed on city streets? It is just as stupid. Those events are poison for most cities that attempt them and screw taxpayers. Gypsy carnivals leave a bad taste in the mouths of multitudes. There are a lot of high quality race tracks without Indy Car, especially OVALS.
3. Do not allow the gutting of the month of May to stand for your series’ biggest event. The recent evisceration of May is sacrilegious. Open the track early in May and have cars on it every single day.
4. There must be 33 on the grid at the end of May, and it would be nice if 50 or so tried to make one of the 33 slots.
5. Open the rule book. Specify a bare minimum of specifications and let the Darwinian nature of creativity become a part of the mix again. The panic based fear of the past few years is that Penske and Ganassi will win most of the races. How would that be any different from the long in the tooth specs that have gotten boring?
6. Encourage participation by a lot more manufacturers.
7. Enable the economics to facilitate DOUBLING the size of the field.
8. Ask anyone who tries to cram how ‘great’ cart was before 1995 down your throat why they didn’t survive, twice. If they stupidly try to blame Tony George, punch them in the face as hard as you possibly can. Or, maybe not. Just apply facts.
9. Listen to everyones’ opinions but be wary of most of the legacy owners. Most are slithering snakes in shirts and will screw it up in a heartbeat if given half a chance. We do not want you to become like one of the revolving door CEO’s many of the owners experienced in the downward spiral days of the now defunct predecessor series.
10. Summarily dismiss the line of absolute crap that attempts to position the Indy Car Series as something less than it was in the mid 1990’s. The memories of a few zealots with loud yaps have taken on unrealistic fantasy proportions. The future is now and you need to hit the ground running. Respect history, but only the history that matters.

Good luck Randy. You will need it.

The NASCAR – Indy Car Relationship

Please allow this observation right up front. I believe the annual presence of NASCAR at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway is a good thing. No – a GREAT thing. Still, having been a fan of IMS since the 1950s, it is still weird to walk into a business in Speedway (or anywhere in Indianapolis) and see NASCAR driver images, cars or posters alongside those of Indy Cars. It seems almost sacrilegious.

That feeling hit home again as I watched the Jimmie Johnson deal on HBO and heard Mari Hulman in the intro telling the boys to start their engines. That is another ‘borrowed’ Indy Car tradition. The degree to which NASCAR has claimed and begun marketing Danica Patrick is really extreme considering she is running mostly ARCA and a handful of B-team events. Evidently Indy Car has enough value to have much of what it started and nurtured stolen over the years.

Again, there is not a thing wrong with having the NASCAR crowd visit once a year. It enhances the IMS experience. I used to go, but I got bored with it. Seeing oversized matchbox templates going around the track at ¾ the speed of an Indy Car does not really inspire my enthusiasm. Tens of thousands of others enjoy it, and I am happy they do.

Let’s face it. Since 1994 IMS has offered the biggest Indy Car stage and the granddaddy of them all to NASCAR. Why aren’t the Indy Cars racing at Daytona? I understand the arguments about the high banks and crappy pavement and such, and those concerns are warranted. Why use the oval in its entirety? The current cart-centric bending over going on in Indy Car certainly favors road course racing. Why not have a weekend (preferably a holiday weekend) in which all the current rungs of the Indy Car ladder run a road course arrangement at Daytona?

That sort of arrangement probably should have been negotiated as part of the deal, but why not get it going now?

IZOD Indy Car Series: No More Bulls#*!

It appears Randy Bernard, the guy who first led the Professional Bull Riders from obscurity to relevance even though he knew nothing about the sport, is apparently going to get that chance again on a bigger stage.

He has never seen an Indy Car or an Indy Car race. Some might express angst about an outsider to that degree. There is optimism, however, that views such a hire in a more positive light. If Bernard has no prior exposure to Indy Car, he has no baggage. The toting of such baggage has been a large problem over the past fifteen years. The rightful heir to the Indy Car empire inadvertently angered those who mistakenly assumed they were in charge of the legacy and for that matter the entire sport. The result over the past fifteen years is some of the most destructive, vulgar behavior in the history of sports.

Now that Tony George has put himself on the shelf until further notice and the cart brigade are just owners and teams again, why wouldn’t the choice of an outsider without any dog in the boycott/temper tantrum fight be ideal?

Look at Bernard’s pedigree. He built a rodeo niche into an actual marketable product. The PBR forged television deals with NBC, Fox and Versus. Those give the PBR more than 250 hours of air time in this country, and they make money selling the programming overseas as well. The worldwide viewing audience numbers more than 100 million viewers in 85 countries. Annual sponsorship revenue is north of $24 million. All that began with a few bull riders tossing a few twenties into a cowboy hat.

Dealing With Former cart Owners is Tricky Business

Here is my word of caution for the new guy:

1. Respect tradition. The past 100 years has created a legacy that has involved life and death. If the spirit of IMS does not affect the leader, having that person as the leader is pointless regardless of business acumen.
2. Do not allow those who have tried to de-emphasize IMS by transforming Indy Car into something it is not supposed to be to influence decision making. cart killed themselves twice doing that and nearly brought down Indy Car. There is already a Formula One and there is no need for a clone. There is not another Indy Car, and the one we have must be nurtured by everyone in it.

The new guy deserves an opportunity to succeed. Hopefully is best leadership quality is sorting through the mountains of bullsh!t that will likely be shoveled his way by multiple self-interested parties.

R.I.P. Vision Racing

Anton shut down Vision Racing yesterday, marking his definitive exit from all things Indy Car. If I was either a gleefully stupid fringe cart lunatic stuck in the early 90s or classless enough to be a Tony hater, this would probably make me happy. In reality it is pretty sad. My first thoughts are with the employees who no longer have jobs. In the grand scheme, racing teams come and racing teams go. It’s evolution.

He WAS Indy

Tony leaving will not prevent the sun from rising tomorrow morning. It will not mean the Indy Car Series is doomed. It will not mean much of anything in the short term other than rampant speculation about car counts. As a big picture guy I am more concerned about what will happen in the next five to ten years for Indy Car senior citizens. A.J. Foyt is one of those. So is Roger Penske. And Carl Haas. Larry is no A.J. Jay is no Roger.

Sooner or later Indy Car must stand on its own as a profitable standalone enterprise. My firm belief is the snake oil carnival known as temporary circuit racing should be outlawed. There are good road courses not being used. Even the lakefront airport in Cleveland is marginally better than city streets. It is also my belief the series needs to have more ovals than non-ovals.

Top-Mario Andretti; Bottom-Tony George

I am pessimistic about the notion of tradition as a guide toward the future. On the other hand, new blood means new opportunity. In my mind there are two choices:

1. A fresh, new Indy Car that is operated and marketed differently than any other flavor by an outsider not affilitated with either side of the so-called ‘split.’
2. A regression backward to the same path of inevitable destruction followed by the now defunct cart and champcar series.

If you really care about the long term future of the sport you will actively work toward the first choice. If you are a backward facing Neanderthal like Mario Andretti who twists history to fit your prejudice, perhaps you will try something positive for a change in a few years before you die off.

At some point down the road, I also hope Tony returns in some capacity. He gets it. Those who succeed him may not.

Things Jeff Belskus Can Learn From Tony (Stewart)

Officially or unofficially there may well be a search in progress for a new IZOD Indy Car Series CEO. The guy who leads the Professional Bull Riders Association, Randy Bernard, says he has an offer. Many think he would be a good choice, thinking along the lines of if the guy can make Bull Riding more popular he can do the same for Indy Car. He is 42 but the Indy Star says his resume says he built it up starting 25 years ago. When he was 17 years old? Perhaps he was 27 and began 15 years ago. Due diligence will provide the answer.

Whether he is a fit or not remains to be seen. My biggest worry is the move away from someone guided by the spirit and tradition of Indianapolis and Indy Car racing. If I were Jeff Belskus, I would study what Tony Stewart has done with Eldora Speedway. After Earl Baltes built the place from nothing in 1954, it became one of the best known and loved dirt tracks in the country. Earl eventually got old and despite his continuous passion and tenacity, those types of tracks became less popular and many like it closed.

Baltes struck a deal with Tony Stewart about five years ago to take it over. That turned out to be the wisest sale possible. Baltes’ legacy remained and Tony Stewart, who has always loved the track and respects its spirit and tradition, has made it better every year he has owned it. Recently, Tony purchased the slightly used jumbotron screens from the old Texas Stadium to use at Eldora.

THAT is the type of passion and commitment that is needed by both owners and management of Indy Car. Can a guy associated with bulls for 15 or 25 years pull it off, or do we call bullsh!t? We shall see.

Indy Car Conscience: Temporary Street Circuits are BAD

It is my sincere hope that whoever gets hired in any executive position at IMS/IRL takes a good hard look at history and attempts to learn from it. If not, today’s Indy Car is headed for the same type of death suffered by cart and its successor champcar organization.

The new CEO has already proven tradition can a back seat to a more efficiently desired cash grab, and his brutal evisceration of the sacred month of May will no doubt haunt him. The owners who ruined both cart and champcar are now making critical calls in Indy Car.

That Didn't Last Long

Tony Cotman, who is revered by many foxes in the hen house (Robin Miller all but kneels in front him, usually with his hands cradling Tony’s buttocks) will still be Chief Steward for Indy Lights, but is also a consultant to design race tracks. Not ovals. Mostly just idiotic temporary street circuits. I get the bendover for Brazil…but don’t they have REAL race courses in that country?

IZOD Suggestion-Baltimore Street Course Shirt

Word is Baltimore is next to get some turds shellacked. I sincerely hope the government of that fine city is bright enough to get on the horn with other governmental entities in cities like Denver or San Jose to discuss the pointless money drain those types of events are. Unfortunately, the river of abject bullsh!t hype to which Baltimore will be subjected may negatively affect their ability to apply logic and common sense. After it is all said and done, assuming they pull it off, the negative Indy Car sentiment will do more harm than good.

I have a hope that someone who owns quality oval tracks (Bruton Smith) will get involved in some way with Indy Car. The scales have tipped entirely too far toward those with solid experience in series annihilation. Temporary circuits are an abomination. Fans want REAL tracks. I prefer mostly ovals. Not 1/3 ovals, 1/3 road courses and 1/3 street courses. That is not balanced. That is 2/3 non-oval.

Original point: Whoever Belskus hires should possess a respect for tradition that will help prevent the sport from being dismantled again by arrogance and greed.